There's nothing like a dirty dog,
A literal mucky pup.
They're a kind of living magnet,
Picking mud and 'yuck stuff' up.
I've got one who cleans the gutter,
Her belly sweeps the road.
The wetter she gets, the better,
She's a filthy little toad.
She loves wet grass and puddles
And every kind of sludge.
When I try to get her moving,
Little Madam will not budge.
When she saw a mouse one day,
Just one thought sprang to mind;
To wriggle through a muddy hedge,
Me, holding on, behind.
I should have dropped the lead, I know!
I realise that now,
But I didn't know, when we set out,
She'd use me as a plough.
Although, some good has come of it,
Upon close inspection;
I've found a way to treat my skin;
Mud's good for my complexion.
So my doggy's saved me money,
Thrifty little lass.
She can get as dirty as she likes,
Cos where there's muck, there's brass!
Dirty? Moi? Honey and Blossom - squeaky clean